Rules Without a Relationship = Rebellion

For most parents when their children are young it is easy to have a close relationship. Hugs, prayer time, the words "I love you" all come very easily with young children.  However as the teen years advance, relationships between parent and child can suffer. Whether a father and daughter who rightfully find close affection a bit more awkward or a father and son who have a growing difference in interests, or perhaps it is a mom who is struggling to allow her "little boy" to find the independence of being a young man, parent / teen relationships can be complicated at times.  However as parents continue to find the need to exercise control over their teenagers with rules, standards and limitations, relationships becomes all the more important.

Loving relationships are the glue that hold families together and help smooth over the arguments, struggles and growing pains that every family faces during those teenage years.  The principles of the Bible apply at home just as they do in relationships at work and church.  Principles of love in 1 Cor. 13 such as thinking no evil, assuming the best, not holding grudges etc. need to be adhered to. There are many other relationship principles as well such as the principles of reconciliation found in Matthew 5 and other places. We can study principles such as "Don't let the sun go down on your anger, don't let your anger lead to sin." (Eph. 4:26) and so many more that can and should be found.

Take time to build relationships. Find common ground and utilize it.  Go out for coffee or shakes (food is almost always common ground) watch sports together, learn to play a video game.  Perhaps you hunt or fish, sew or bake, whatever you can find to engage in with the goal of building the relationship, do it!

Don't only spend time when there is an issue.  Make "deposits" in their lives as often as you can by spending that time with them, saying "I love you" or sending them a text from across the room letting them know you're proud of them.  These deposits allow you to make "withdrawals" and yet not damage the relationship when there are disagreements or discipline issues.


If rules and regulations are enforced in a teen's life without an on-going love infused relationship, rebellion will be the result.

What ways have you nurtured and enhanced the relationship with your teen lately? Why not shoot them a text right now and invited them for ice cream soon?


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